I’ve always wondered this… Half the time its why I don’t .
Posted 2 days ago
I killed myself
Not physically but I’m emotionally dead. I killed the girl who used to love life.
Posted 3 days ago
This is where I vent
Don’t judge me, but then again I don’t really care.
I went home this weekend. It was a blast!! I saw just about everyone I wanted too.. Still a couple that don’t seem to pan out but we’ll figure tgst out in time.
I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up in june. Let me tell you,ni still feel everything for that girl. Call it a bad idea, but I just had to see her. It was amazing. Its like nothing ever happened… except without all the relationship stuff (which sucked) but I was good just to be in her company again, and be us again, and have a good time and enjoy each other. Dont get me wrong, I wanted to hold her and kiss her, love her and tell her how much I missed her. But I didnt, I acted like everything was perfect, that I didnt miss her that much, that I dont think of her everyday. But I do. I miss it all. Everything, going back just made.everything come flooding back.. Not even flood, it was a hurricane of emotions hidden by a wall of, “I’m doing good for myself now”, but all I wanted to do was stay there forever. when I left I cried,like it was the last time I said goodbye all over again. I hate it but I love her. Honestly and whole heartedly. I would give up ever cell in me, ever organ, one by one for her without even thinking twice. Sucks, but I would never think about loving anyone else, she will and will always be, my true love. I love you, and I know we can only be friends but I’d rather have that then lose you all together.
Posted 1 week ago
I’m scared to be in my own mind
Its like I’m trapped and I can’t get out. When people ask how I am, I lie. I’m fine I promise, but if you could read my mind, you’d wonder too how I haven’t died a thousand times. I often wonder if I’d ever have the balls to do it, but I know I never could, I know that would hurt more people. So I stay and rot on the inside…
Also I love how people judge, you’re to young to feel feel this way.. Go fuck yourself, you have no clue what I feel inside and what I’ve been through. I don’t judge you, so don’t judge me.
Also I’m drunk and I feel like shit tonight so I’m gonna vent. Deal with it. I feel so empty inside, its like syringe literally took out everything, ever organ and was like here you go, here is a halfway decent shell to live life in. yeah, its not the best but welcome home.
Honestly, I pray for relieve in any form now a days. Until then…. I put on this happy face and pretend that I am not the person that cries themself to sleep every night and I have the best life ever.
I’m tired of this long game of charades. Its getting old.
Posted 1 week ago
….
I hope I don’t make anybody feel as empty as you make me feel. Fucking cunt. I hate you so much…. Thats a lie I wish was true.. Fuck everything.
Posted 2 weeks ago
Again
Let me just say, she… Shes wonderfully broken and so mysteriously attractive. I don’t know what it is, but I’m scared of what it could do to me… Its kind of exciting to know you can wreck my whole world up, and that I’m willing to let you… Should be interesting to say the least.
Posted 2 weeks ago
Sooooo……
I’m actually happy. My god, does it feel nice to feel this way without being drunk or pretending. And this hasn’t even begun. I can only hope its nothing but up from here :)
Posted 3 weeks ago
Posted 4 weeks ago
Dear Girl at the Store
I really appreciate you calling me very cute, and I’m sorry I didn’t say what I wanted to but if you couldn’t tell by my shaking hands while signing my receipt, I am very nervous around you.
Sincerely, you are so beautiful.
Posted 1 month ago
Listen
“Put your head to my chest do you hear that beating? Its the silent cry of a heart thats bleeding.”
My names Kelli, I live in No Where, WV. I'm 21, I'm pretty easy to get along with, I like to have fun and write music..
